Kim and Karmen

I have again left a big gap between part 1 of this and part 2 but hey ho, all in good time ! Picking up from where part 1 left off ( part1 ) I want to explore more of the things that helped me in a major way and hopefully this could help someone feeling similar or give some ideas to help or even just spark a bit of hope in someone who is feeling hopeless (I know this feeling oh to well, you’re not alone)  Counselling -  There are many different types of counselling and it really is an individual thing/choice as to which is most suitable for you. I had one to one counselling based on CBT which I believe the basis is to help you be able retrain your brain to manage and control the unwelcome thoughts. I was so nervous at first and was still having all the negative and unworthy thoughts about attending but i ending up really looking forward to my sessions. One of the most challenging but most rewarding parts is the ‘homework’, for example my therapist would set tasks that I would...

Here it is as promised - my lip filler journey / experience. Lip fillers are something I’ve always been in 2 minds about. One week I’m thinking Yes! I’m doing it and researching the best practitioners etc and then by the following week I’m having doubts - what if it goes wrong? What if I hate it? What if it ruins my face forever? And so on. So when a good friend of mine embarked on a training course to learn all things beauty including fillers and aesthetics I knew this would fall into my comfort and I would get to finally try it out whilst also supporting my friend. I’m notorious for researching things excessively so I pretty much had in my mind what I wanted to get from the fillers - I wanted as natural as possible, keeping the same shape as my natural lips but just a bit fuller. I specifically didn’t want the ‘duck face’ look and I wanted upper and lower lips to be balanced! My main decision to be made was whether To have 0.5ml or 1ml. On the advice of my friend and from my ex...

Shortly after Karmen turned 2 years old I started a part time weekend job, which has now developed into 3 full days during the week. At the beginning I had conflicting feelings about going back to work, which I will go into in a moment, however now I really enjoy it, and it offers a great balance and value to my life. To begin with I had not considered working a job, part time or otherwise whilst Karmen was so young. This was partly due to my beliefs and partly due to the way I was feeling (post natal depression) .  It was a friend who first suggested to me to go for a job, it was something she was currently doing and having been in a similar situation to my own with similar emotions she pushed me into applying and going for it, for this I am truly so grateful. I remember the day of my interview I was incredibly nervous, which would of been totally out of character for the 'old me' to the point where I actually cried as I was getting ready as I had zero confidence in my abi...

This will perhaps be the most difficult post to write as it means revisiting old feelings and experiences, however I feel like it is the right time for me to express this and also if someone happens to stumble upon this post and it helps them in anyway no matter how small then that can only be a good thing. I had known for a long time after having my daughter that I did not feel like myself / did not feel 'right' however I would always put this down to other factors mainly resulting in me blaming myself and in turn I would feel worse. Its actually really difficult to know where to begin with this post, and as I am typing I am already trying to think of ways to make it as brief as possible, but this would be missing the point! To summarize, I only actually got diagnosed with Post Natal Depression (sometimes Ante Natal Depression) after my daughter was 2 and a half years old, that is a long time I was suffering and it was fair to say I was at breaking point when I walked into t...